How Weird You Are.

Lydia Licon.
Unfortunately, this woman is my "mother."
If you can even call her that. And yes, everyone says that I should be nice to her. But how can you respect someone who shows you now respect in return? It's a little hard.
I hardly hold any love for her. No motherly love for her at all, actually.
It's just a love that a person would hold for lets say a teacher, or a friend?
Sometimes I hate her.
But of course, I can't tell her that.
Ugh!
I just don't understand her.
How can she be so cruel to me.
She gave me life, and she treats me like shit at times. Why?
What did I do to you?
If you didn't want to have me, abortion was an option.
Duh. Think about it.



She tries to be a mom.
But why now?
Why after all the yelling, beatings, unforgettable statements...
Why... HOW do you think I could just forgive you... just like that?
What the fuck are you thinking?!
How the hell do you think I feel?
Stupid... You're so stupid.


And I hate to not be able to tell you the real reason why I'm choosing to move out.
I guess it's better to keep that information to myself.
But if you ever ask...
The reason I am leaving is you.
You have made me feel so lonely.
How can I feel like that? You might wonder. Being a person who has almost everything, and yet feel lonely?
Because of all the shit you've done to me.
Maybe you were right... Maybe I was a mistake. Maybe I am an embarrassment. Maybe I am good for nothing. A slut. A whore. Stupid.

But I am trying.
I tried to gain some of your love...
But in the end I gave up because I realized that I don't want it.
I have Jesse. My loving father to fill in the gap I hold.
I don't need you.